Daily Blessings

Pure Joy

2011-06-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite verses is James 1:2-3, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance". Followed by John 16:33, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world". I think so many times, we ask God why he could let bad things happen to us when we are following his will. Instead we should ask, "God, how can I serve you and glorify you through my darkest hours?". The roughest patches can be used to mold us into the child of God we are always supposed to be. I think of the Grand Canyon and of the many underground caverns, that are absolutely amazing. They didn't just appear. The were molded and fashioned by floods and river patterns. There was debris in the water that changed the landscape forever. Or of an oyster pearl, that started as a particle of sand and festered until it became an amazing pearl. That is who we are. Without the debris in our life, we can't become the children has called us to be. Jeremiah 29:11 says, " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". One of my absolute favorite songs is by Laura Story and is called "Blessings". I feel every word of that song to my core. I could have written that song because it is a testimonial of how I desire to live my life. Here is an excerpt, "We pray for wisdom.Your voice to hear. We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near. We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love. As if every promise from Your Word is not enough. And all the while, You hear each desperate plea, and long that we'd have faith to believe". That is what is so amazing to me. I was always taught to "hide God's word in my heart, so that I might not sin against Him". I want to live my life for Him. I want to glorify God through the rough spots, the nights I can't sleep for thinking of the things I need to get accomplished or how something I might have said could be taken wrong. We have all been there and I so encourage you to "take heart, because He has overcome the world!". It is not our job to conquer the world. He already has. We are called to be His tools. That's all. But we can also be the biggest stumbling block when we allow Satan a strong hold. I chose God. I chose to allow Him to use me, whenever and wherever He calls.

Everything Falls

2011-05-12T06:28:00.000-07:00

I went to bed last night thanking God for his blessings and for His wisdom. I needed to hear from Him. I needed Him to speak to me. I needed to feel His presence and His peace. This morining was crazy. We did not wake up on a good note...at all. Kaylee was sick. Reese wanted to stay home too and Becca was upset because everyone else is upset. I look to the sky and kinda of say, "Really God. This is not what I asked from you as I cried myself to sleep." I get in the car and start driving and what do I see...Doodle one of our dogs running down Hailey. "Really God. I am in a hurry and I have a busy day". So I chase Doodle back towards home and hope she gets there (she did). Then as I listen to the radio, the following song comes on. It is called, 'Everything Falls' written by Stephen Fee.

You said you'd never leave or forsake me, when You said this life is gonna shake me.
You said this world is gonna bring trouble, oh my soul. But this I know.
When everything falls apart, Your arms hold me together.
When everything falls apart, You're the only hope for this heart.
When everything falls apart, and my strength is gone,
I find You mighty and strong. You keep holding on. You keep holding on.
When I see darkness all around me, when I see tragedy has found me, I still believe.
Your faithful arms will never let me go. Still I know.
When everything falls apart, Your arms hold me together.
When everything falls apart, You're the only hope for this heart.
When everything falls apart, and my strength is gone,
I find You mighty and strong. You keep holding on. You keep holding on.
Sorrow will last for the night, but hope is rising with the sun,
it's rising with the sun. There will be storms in this life, but I know
you have overcome, you have overcome.
When everything falls apart, Your arms hold me together.

When everything falls apart, You're the only hope for this heart.
When everything falls apart, and my strength is gone,
I find You mighty and strong. You keep holding on. You keep holding on.

I know that when you are doing God's will, Satan finds you prime target for attack. James 1:2-3 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance". So I will chose joy today.

Cry to Jesus

2011-04-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

I am listening to KLOVE on the radio right now and "Cry to Jesus" just came on. I have always loved that song. It talks about God wanting to have a realtionship with Him. Cry to Him in times of despair, dance with Him in times of rejoicing and fly to Him with all you are. Right now I am crying to Him. I am so greatly frustrated. I am back to where I first was right after my stroke. I cannot see at night. My eyes are not focusing well at all and the dizziness is back. It is frustrating because I feel it is a battle I fight on my own. No one sees my pain because it is only for me to see. Most people assume I am just fine because there don't appear to be any obvious outward deformities. When I can't see, I just keep walking. When I am dizzy,I just keep walking. I am exhausted of masking the issues. I am mentally, physically and emotionally broken. I am clinging to Him. I know He will heal me and that His right now is most certainly not my right now, but I am human and am experiencing frustration.

When I think about how much balance and vision, encompass life it is overwhelming. We all want balance in our lives. I feel like I am so out of whack. I spent 10 days fasting and focusing and God spoke to me in so many ways and I do not doubt Him and His plan for my life but sometimes I just wish that my right now was His right now, just saying. I don't think that makes me unfaithful. I think for a true relationship with Him we should be honest with Him. How much time do I spend trying to pretend to God and act like I am just fine when I am actually frustrated. It seems really silly to pretend. He already knows, and speaking it to Him is truly healing. So that is what I am doing. Asking God to make my right now, His right now but willing to wait if it is not.

Juggling

2011-04-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

There are days when I don't know if I am coming or going. It is so hard to keep all the balls that I am juggling up in the air. I can easily become overwhelmed with all there is to do and all the things that are expected of me. Some of which I don't even know about until its too late. Oh, well, I am a mere mortal pastor's wife trying to do my best to follow His will for my life. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with what I think others expect of me and I am finally seeing that all that matters is what He is asking of me. So many times, I take control of the reins and that is when things are most out of control. I often have a hard time with, "Let Go and Let God". I just want to hold the corner just in case He is not looking when everything falls apart.

Lately I have been very intentional about studying His word and listening instead of talking. That is so hard sometimes. I have been intentional about seeing Him in His creation. Even though I still feel like I am juggling, I am no longer doing it while riding a unicycle. God has granted me peace and I will continue to be still and listen. I know it is not easy and I am not perfect and I will stumble but I hope others will know that I am flawed but by God's grace I am saved. For the first time in a long time, I am not struggling to breath. We serve a mighty God and He knows every more we make whether it is in His will or out. He can redirect our paths.

1 Peter 1:3- His divine power has us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that though them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
Glory to God!

Seeing God through My Children

2011-03-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

My children bring so much joy to my life. I asked a friend of mine, who now has a 1 yr old, if she could even imagine life without her little girl. It is amazing how much different you view the world when you are looking at it through the eyes of His children. When we just went to the exotic zoo, it was awesome to see Becca's surprise and joy at seeing the animals up close. She was awed at God's creation and so was I. But seeing her awe was way more impressive. Shouldn't we be the same in our spiritual walk? Shouldn't we be in awe of seeing people find Jesus and have the peace that we have through Christ. I know that there is not a day that goes by I have to return to His peace that passes all understanding. Today I was reading Matthew 18 and what a powerful message is in that one chapter! WOW! Jesus puts it all out there on how we are to treat one another. The most amazing thing in there that touched me today, was that we are to come to Him, like children. With the innocence of the child. They don't ever doubt Him. They don't over think it. Just like the song, "Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but he is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves. THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO. The Bible says it, so it is so. That is how we should be and we should be illuminating Him in all that we do.

A Wow Week

2011-03-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

For starters, I have been off of my beloved diet Dr. Peppers for 2 weeks now. Longer than I have ever given them up and sugar has not been a problem either. It is funny, I always thought I was way more addicted than Phillip, but he is having a harder time than me.

We started Spring Break with the girls all going to grandparents. Phillip and I had grand plans to demo out a bathroom and get stuff done. Well we had the bathroom and all the laundry done by noon on Sat so we took a little nap. Four hours later, Phillip woke me up and decided we should go to Abilene and have a date. It was so amazing. God met us there. He spoke through this man we were sitting with at Bonzai. We were headed to Carino's and I asked if we could switch and I am so glad we did. You sit with random people and Phillip can talk to anyone. We start talking to this man and it was seriously some of the most reassuring things coming out of his mouth. He had no idea what was going on in our lives and the things he said were all God. Thank you Lord, for meeting us there.

Sunday we had church and then headed to Abilene again for lunch and a movie, then home for another 2 hr nap and then over to Tique and Stacy's to cook out. Monday we got the girls and had a good evening with them.

Tuesday, I started the day with 2 Dr appts. One with an opthamalogist and then neurologist. The optho was able to see that my eyes were not responding as they should. They are weak and that is why they don't focus correctly or dilate correctly. Then I saw my neuro and he said much of the same with the vision stuff and there is really no therapy to make it better. He said I could wear prisms over my eyes that might help but he didn't think that I would wear them. He said all of the things that I am going through is directly related to my brain damage. Not always being able to recognize people, not being able to recognize things if I am moving, not being able to handle loud noises, not being able to follow things quickly, forgetfulness (forgot to put Becca's diaper on the other day and daddy got a surprise), speech issues are all related to that. He said he is amazed at what I push through and do. I told him, no one ever said I should stop. So he said, "Okay, stop. Slow down. Get more sleep. 7 hr of sleep is not enough for you. You need 10". I said oops, I have been getting 5-6. He didn't sound as optimistic that things would improve much more either.

Then we headed to Craig and Fallon's for a break from this insanity we find ourselves living in right now. I didn't answer my phone and tried to get Phillip not too. We get bad news everyday and it can really break you. I feel broken and I didn't want that. We had a wonderful time. We went to some water falls, we went to Gruin and took some family photos and then to an exotic zoo and Longhorn Caverns. It was so nice. Seeing my children laughing. Seeing Becca get a handful of feed and run after the baby deer, squealing trying to give them feed and then shaking in terror. Becca hugging a baby deer. Absolutely precious.

It was so nice to see the beauty of God surrounding us. Praise the Lord for all He does for me!

Now, if I could just get us unpacked.

Lent

2011-03-08T12:43:00.000-08:00

Lent begins tomorrow. I looked up Lent from Wikipedia and it is defined as a time of sacrifice to Jesus. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer-through prayer, penitence , alms giving and self-denial- for the annual commemoration of Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus. Conventionally is is described as 40 days long. The 40 days represent the time that, according to the Bible, Jesus spent in the dessert before the beginning of his public ministry, where he endured temptation by Satan.

To truly experience Lent, one must truly give up something that is important to them. It would not be difficult for me to give up smoking or drinking because I don't ever do any of those things. The things that we are supposed to give up are things that can help us draw strength from Him and that will bring us closer to Him. Therefore, I am giving up my beloved sweets and diet sodas. I have tried many a time, but do it on my own terms and with my own strength which is greatly lacking. So, I will have to spend even more time in the Word and more reliance on His strength because I really have very little. I will also be giving up video games. I know it sounds silly for a pastor's wife to need to give such things up and I don't spend much time playing Kaylee's DSi but it has been a way for me to veg out and numb out and I could spend that time on much more useful things for Him. I ask for you to pray for me on this journey because I know it will not be easy. But I am equally as sure that it was not easy for our Heavenly Father to give up His Son to die on the cross for me. The sacrifice He gave is something that is so hard for me to even fathom. I am in awe of His love for me. A woman who is so undeserving. I will learn to grow closer to Him through this experience. I will rely on His strength and not my own. I encourage you to journey with me. The reward will far out way the price.

I can do all things through Christ, who give me Strength!!

All in a day

2011-03-04T11:26:00.000-08:00

I was looking at my calendar yesterday and realized my March calendar looks more full than my December calendar did. I like business but not the "I can't catch my breath" business. But that is what we have. I have about 8 loads of laundry that need doing, dishes to be washed, a bathroom to gut and redo and 2 bedrooms that are waiting to be redone. Not to mention, that my family enjoys home-cooked meals and a somewhat clean house. Plus, now we have softball sign-ups.

I have decided that God is purposefully keeping me busy so that I don't have to dwell on what is happening around me at times. Because there are far more things to give God glory for than to be unsettled about. But don't the unsettling things always yell louder than the rest.

God paints a canvas of promises to us in His word. I have never been more close to Him. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you WILL have trouble. But take HEART! I have OVERCOME THE WORLD!" John 16:33 I see rainbows all over the place and they consistently remind me of His promises. That He is with me all of the time. It is all in our perspective on how we chose to handle it. I feel really bad for those that have never turned to God when they are struggling. Honestly, I don't see how they function. With God on my side, who can be against me? I have learned to lean more on God, rather than family and friends and church. They are all human and even those with the best intentions can at times let you down. I sometimes put people on such a pedestal that they can't help but not live up to our standards. But those are our standards, not necessarily the standards or duties that God has for them. I know that I need to look at seeing people through the eyes that God seems them. Look at them with grace and mercy and love. If we would all do this, how awesome would our world be? So that is my goal for this year. To see people the way God see's His children.

Raging Seas

2011-02-25T08:17:00.000-08:00

I often look at my life and wonder how I got here. When did I get married and have 3 children? How did all this happen so fast? Have I truly been able to enjoy the blessings God has bestowed on me? Am I answering His call on my life the way He has asked or am I answering the call I want Him to ask me? God has not given me my life on a silver platter. Not even close. But even through our darkest hours, He has carried us through. Phillip and I have purposely saught God out. Telling Him, WE WILL FOLLOW! The bottom line is that if you are not in God's will, you will be miserable and when you are in His will, you have peace. It doesn't mean that it will be smooth sailing all the time, but He will carry us when the burden becomes too heavy to bear alone. It is so comforting to know that we are in the place God called us to be. Is it easy...not even close. Two things have blessed me lately and I have to share them. I hope they help you too.

The first is a song, that I am singing in church on Sunday: Let the Waters Rise by Matt Mahar

Don't know where to begin, it's like my world's caving in.
Tho I try but I can't control my fear.
Where do I go from here?
Sometimes its so hard to pray
When you feel so far away
But I am willing to go, where you want me to.
God I trust you.

There's a raging sea. Right in front of me.
Wants to pull me in. Bring me to my knees.
So let the waters rise, if you want them to,
I will follow you. I will follow you.

I will swim in the deep. You will be next to me.
You're in the eye of the storm, in the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach.
You were there with me then. You'll be faithful again.
I'm holding your hand.

God your love is enough. You will pull me through.
I'm holding onto you.
God your love is enough. I will follow you. I will follow you.

and Psalm 71

Lord, I have gone to you for safety. Let me never be put to shame. You do what is right. Save me and help me. Pay attention to me and save me. Be my rock of safety that I can always go to. Give me the command to save me. You are my rock and my fort. My God, save me from the power of sinners. Save me from the hands of those who are mean and evil. You are the King and Lord. You have always been my hope. I have trusted in you ever since I was young. From the time I was born I have depended on you. You brought me out of my mother's body. I will praise you forever. To many people I am an example of how much you care. You are strong. You are my place of safety. My mouth is filled with praise for you. All day long I will talk about your glory. Don't push me away when I'm old. Don't desert me when my strength is gone. My enemies speak against me. Those who want to kill me get together and make evil plans. They say, "God has deserted him. Go after him and grab him. No one will save him." God, don't stay so far away from me. My God, come quickly and help me. May those who bring charges against me die in shame. May those who want to harm me be covered with shame and dishonor. But I will always have hope. I will praise you more and more. I will say that what you have done is right. All day long I will talk about how you have saved your people. It is more that I can understand. Lord, and King, I will come and announce your mighty acts. I will announce that you alone do what is right. God, ever since I was young you have taught me about what you have done. To this very day I tell about your wonderful acts. God don't leave me when I'm old and gray. Let me live to tell my children about your power. Let me tell all of them about your mighty acts. God, your saving acts reach to the skies. you have done great things. God, who is like you? You have sent many bitter troubles my way. But you will bring me back. You will honor me more and more. You will comfort me once again. My God, I will use the harp to praise you because you are always faithful. Holy One of Israel, I will use the lyre to sing praise to you. My lips will shout with joy when I sing praise to you. You have saved me. All day long my tongue will say that you have done what is right. Those who have wanted to harm me have been put to shame. They have not been honored.

I know it is long, but oh so powerful. Phillip and I know that we have answered God's call on our lives. I don't know how anyone can be a pastor's wife and not be called. You are never doing the right thing and are always being beaten down by idle gossip. It is so hard to see what is going on around us. We chose not to give the devil a foothold and we will persevere. We will use our circumstances to give God the glory. People will always say things, but when Christians hurt each other, Satan has a field day. Why is it easier to be negative than to see God working? I will never understand that, but I chose to be a light amidst the darkness.

Respite

2011-01-31T08:54:00.000-08:00

Does your life ever seem like it is barreling out of control? Mine was about to take off down Niagara Falls. You name it and I had lost control of it. I don't consider myself a control freak but am trying to come to terms with the fact that I truly am. First step is admission, right? With having had the stroke and being a pastor's wife, I was seeing that I had no control. I had no control over what people were saying about us (because the things circulating were not true so how do I fix that) and since no one would talk to us about things that were going around it makes it hard to straighten things out. (No one still has, grrr). It amazes me that people would rather spread gossip than get to the truth. I have my moments of weakness but have been really trying to be cognizant of it and ask for forgiveness and apologize when I vomit out information. I started using the word vomit for when I start talking about others because that is how I feel. I have been trying so hard to keep my thoughts pure but at times when it boils up, I vomit...all I know. I ask forgiveness from God and my friends. It is so hard, as the pastor's wife you have so much going on in and around your life and you can't tell anyone when things are upside down or it is weakness. Other people can just complain and it is ok, but not us. Everything has to be rosy all the time.

I digress. So, my good friend, Fallon, knew I was in desperate need of a respite. She called and said, "Hey, our church is having a women's retreat and you need to come." I said, "Alright, I am there!!". It was a great break. We had some hilarious adventures. Fallon wanted it to be a restful weekend and it truly was but here is some of what went on...

I borrowed a friends GPS because we discovered that ours was broken. I have trouble with my vision, so I knew that I could not read directions and drive so I needed a GPS. I start out and am having a great time with God. I was rocking out to His word and His world around me. And then I had to potty. I get back in the car and the GPS says, "We have found a way that is 5 min faster". I think, anything that gets me there with less night time driving is better. So I take it. I start heading down this road and after 30 miles, I head down a smaller highway. Now I am hearing my husband in my ear saying, "Always take the main highways, GPS can get you in trouble". I was thinking that most time, the fastest routes are usually main highways because you can go faster. But I end up on FM 962...at 6:10pm and I am swerving around this road and there are deer everywhere...and I can't see anything but the yellow stripe and there are no other cars. It says I have 42 miles to go...no biggie, that is Abilene to Sweetwater. I call Phillip and tell him that I am scared and to pray for me. Then it gets worse. I see a sign that says, "No 18-wheelers and bus turn around ahead". I have never seen a sign like that, but it doesn't sound good and it was not. I was making crazy 180 degree turns up and down a mountain and through river beds. This is nuts and I CAN'T SEE! So finally I just asked God to see for me. And I go there.

Fallon had sent me a text earlier that said, "Go potty if you need to. We are having major plumping issues". I get there and they do not have water. We have to trek over to the church and go potty...and its cold. But hilarious. She then says, "Oh, and I am going to this class at 8:45 in the morning and I thought I would just let you sleep but the plumbers are going to be here at 9 and I am actually going to Zumba at the YMCA and they have showers so you are probably going to need to get up and go so you can shower". So, I just tell her I have always wanted to try but have been scared that I wouldn't be able to follow with my vision issues but I would give it a try. I did fair. I couldn't do it all but I was sweating. Shower was nice too.

Later we went to the retreat and were definitely blessed. I went a different route home and was much refreshed. God always finds a way to keep me laughing.

On the way home, I spent a lot of time with God, talking and listening. I sang to Him and it feels so good to thank Him and truly worship Him. Over the past month or so, God has been blessing me and Phillip with these mini rainbows. I have never in my life seen them before until Dec.3 which is when things first started to get really rocky. I was driving and I saw this rainbow in the clouds. It had not been raining and it was just a rectangle of rainbow in the sky. I tried to take a pic because I had never seen anything like it in my life. I told Phillip about it and he said he saw it too and we were 20 miles apart. On our way home we had been talking abut being faithful to God's call and we saw 3 shooting stars. We thanked God for His wonder and for seeing us.

When we traveled to Dallas on Monday, we saw it again and we knew the next day was going to be tough. On Sunday I saw it again as I was praising God and telling Him that I would follow His will for my life. Not necessarily in distance but in obedience and I would not become complacent the way I have seen those ahead of me do. And the rainbow appeared in this HUGE cloud. I sang out to him for about 15 minutes and the cloud followed me and then it was all just gone. Not even in the horizon. It was amazing. Thank you God. You are always faithful and never step from my side.

Really Seeing

2011-01-15T15:22:00.000-08:00

I thought it was an appropriate title since my main side effect from my stroke is my vision. I can't really "see" anything in grayscale. It takes me more than just a few minutes to adjust to actaully see those images. Where most people don't even realize their eyes need to adjust. I can't walk and look for something. I have to stop and look and let myself adjust and that is all the time and not just grayscale. Makes for driving fun. I am going out of town next week. Should be fun. The last 6 monthes of our lives have been some of the most trying times in our lives. In all actuality our time her in Sweetwater so far has been very trying spiritually and emotionally. Becca had some problems in utero and then after and then my stroke and church has been difficult in a whole new sense of trying to serve more and inspire others to serve to. It is quite different from any other church we have been in in that people are truly wanting to serve. I have always been a firm believer in the seeing God work on this earth and also of seeing the cunning powers of the devil. I know that when you are right with God and following Him and people are seeing God's face more that this is troubling to Satin and He knows what buttons to push. So, now I am taking it as a compliment that so much has happened in the last 2 years because it is reassuring that we are doing God's work here. We are seeing His presence in the lives that we are working with. I have always been frustrasted with people who think that once you become a Christian you will always be happy and no bad will ever come to you. Jesus told us it would happen, " He said, "In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world". So we are taking heart in the knowledge that no matter how bad things are right now that God IS in control of our lives right now and we choose to follow Him in all that He asks of us. There is a song out called "Let the Waters Rise" and it has completely moved me. I will mess up the lyrics but here is some of it....There's a raging sea, right in front of me. You were with me then, you'll be with me again. You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea and I will follow you. AMAZING and Wonderfully

Random Pics

2010-12-29T21:53:00.000-08:00

Becca is loving her cake!

Becca Loving on Griff. Griff afraid for his life

Becca scrounging for food.

My beauties in the bluebonnet field.

Easter 2010!

More Stroke Info

2010-12-29T21:42:00.000-08:00

I went and saw my neurologist last week. He now says that the vision and vertigo issues could last up to 5 years. Some days are 'normal' other days are not. Tonight while putting laundry from the washer to the dryer, I almost fell over and then proceeded to break out in a cold sweat and get dizzy and nauseated. NO fun. I never know when it will get triggered. I know laundry is hard for me but it is so frustrating. At the same time, complaining will not make it any better so I just keep on, keeping on.
The doctor said that I actually did have a clot in my interior cerebellar artery and that it could have been catastrophic. Thankfully it was not and I chose to live each day to its fullest. Lately it has been really tough with what the world is dishing out but we are making do.
He said that he is very concerned about my heart. We are waiting on the 30 day cardiac monitor results to come in. He was disappointed my cardiologist was out of town until next week but what do you do. Everyone deserves a break. He said he doesn't mean to scare me, but he is very concerned but very please with my progress and my positive attitude.
It is crazy the things that bother me. I was trying to watch a picture video and I never could see the images. The styaed abstract because they wouldn't give me time to focus. I hadn't realized how much time I was taking to focus.
All in all...God is Good. SO good. He has blessed me with an amazing husband. There are few men that measure up to him. He is a man after God's heart and an amazing husband who treats me as a treasure and a fantastic daddy that has three little girls that think he is a super hero. God has blessed me. He will continue to bless me and I am so thankful to be called a child of the king.

No Regrets

2010-12-12T20:09:00.000-08:00

I have worked many years in health care. As a home health nurse, I would sit and visit with many of my patients. It was so sad to hear so many of them talk about their regrets in life. Many of those that had lost their spouse would say, "I should have told her that she was beautiful more and that I truly loved them" or that they should have said yes to this or that. It was so hard and the men seemed to feel more quilt.

Last night, I told Phillip that no matter what happens to me, I have no regrets and that I could not be a happier wife and mother. He has treated me like the princess my dad would have wanted for his daughter. I feel cherished and loved unconditionally.

It is so hard for me to be 'taken care of' by him. He looks out for me in ways that I am not even looking for. When we went to San Antonio we went to the River Walk. He wouldn't let me walk by the river and he held onto me the whole time. The only reason I even knew was because I was walking by the river for a second and he said," You don't need to walk there". I was like, "oh". Yesterday while walking up stadium steps, I got dizzy because you look up and down and that really makes me sick, so he grabs my arm like they do the little old ladies. He is my protector and I am thankful but feel so bad that he has to do that at such a young age. I just don't like it one bit, but not liking my situation, doesn't change anything so I might as well accept it.

I am continually reminded that I need to look to God. He is in control. He knows my frustrations and fears. He knows that I want to make sure Phillip knows how to put up a pony-tail and braid just in case I am not there to do it. I want them all prepared. I know that I my children don't necessarily need me, but I want to be there to raise them. I know God would take care of my family and there is peace in that but I talk to Him a lot about my desire to raise my children and grow old with my husband. Of course He knows and it is amazing what a friend He has become.

God is good...All the time!

I DON'T Want to Eat Brussel

2010-12-11T15:55:00.000-08:00

I don't want to eat brussel sprouts nor do I want to be a 33 year old stroke patient. At the same time, I will eat mybrussel sprouts, ie: stroke. I have decided to come back to the world of blogging because there is so much on my heart and I know that there may be someone else out there that needs to hear what God is laying on my heart. So I have decided to answer his call and write. I am not a writer by far so don't pass too much judgement. I am simply a mom and preacher's wife who is doing her best to give God the glory for all that happens in my life...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Eight years ago today, I was being prepped for my first of three c-sections where I was going to meet my Kaylee. When she was born, the doctor said, "It's a little lady". Our life has never been the same. I thank God that He gave us Kaylee, Reese and Becca. You see, I never wanted girls because girls are mean to each other but I also always prayed that God would complete our family. He started a little earlier than we expected but of course, He knew best.

It has been 11 weeks today since I had my stoke. Things to be thankful for from the get-go. We had been trying to sell our car for 6 months and that day we sold it. So those payments get to go to medical bills, YEAH! Not really but a blessing. I am actually thankful they did not find out that I had a stroke day 1. I would not have liked to have been in the hospital and that would have cost a lot more. I am thankful for diligent doctors. They all are perplexed on the whys but I don't have to know the whys. I have to know that I can glorify God in that he saved me that night.

My initial fear has been replaced by frustration. I am frustrated that I am doing the same therapy as the 70 year old men and they do some of it better. I am frustrated that I cannot remember where I put things. I am frustrated that my vision is still causing me problems. I am frustrated that I am frustrated.

However, I have decided that being frustrated is not going to change the circumstances. I will continue to smile and Praise the Lord for everyday I get to be with my husband and girls. I am thankful that God allows me to minister to others. I am thankful for all the beauty He puts around us. I am thankful for little girl giggles and hugs. I am thankful for the Sonic drinks my husband brings me. I am thankful.

No news

2010-11-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

So far every test that has been done has come back normal except my cholesterol is slightly elevated but carotids are clear of plaque so who knows. I do know that I had 23 tubes of blood taken yesterday and have had twice that take in the past week. I feel about the same. Always exhausted. Blurred and dizzy. Handing out Halloween candy was frustrating. I missed the bag about as much as I got it in there. Argh! I do have a neurology appt on the 12th. Not much longer. Yesterday, my obgyn called because he had heard what had happened and he prayed with me over the phone. I am blessed with great doctors who truly care and I am so thankful God has blessed them with the gift a medicine and healing.

I think about my little girls often. I look at them differently now. I worry about Kaylee. She seems to be a little bit of a loner. She is precious. She is so nurturing. She loves to help others and is always thinking of everyone else. I know she is going to be a wonderful person. I hope that she stays true to her convictions in life. She writes music and stories and they are so sweet. She is an excellent big sister. I know her and Reese argue some but it is normal. She has been letting Reese sleep with her for a week and I promise that isn't easy. She loves little Becca to death and is her ultimate protector.

Reese is amazing in her own right. Yesterday she went with me to the lab and sat with wonder as the blood came out my arm. She helped the lady label them and was so caring. The other day she overheard me telling someone that I can't sleep without Phillip beside me and she said, "Mommy, Daddy is there to take care of you." She is a voice of reason. She is also hilarious. She always keeps us laughing. She is growing up so much. It is hard for me to picture her as a little girl. I just want to keep her small. I often tell her how special she is and that God knew that she would make a great big sister and little sister and that is why she is our middle child. She is a blessing no doubt.

And then there is sweet Becca. She gives the best hugs and kisses. She has become quite the little independent thing lately. She wants to do everything the big girls are doing. She hears them and runs to them. She gets her wii remote and 'plays' right along with them. She is doing some sign language and she knows what she wants and what she doesn't want.

And last but certainly not least, is my wonderful husband, who has chauffered me all around town for the past month. He has taken care of me and the girls as well as worked overtime at the church because that is what a pastor does. He is the most caring man of God. He seeks to serve the Lord in what ever way God calls him. He is so precious. He has led our family to serve God and keeps that at the forefront of our life. He is teaching my children to serve others and I am so thankful for that. It is sad that there are those out there that damage that but I know that is Satan attacking and we are beginning to almost be thankful for the tough times.

I wake up every morning and thank God for letting me wake up and ask how I can serve Him today. God has given me the gift of life and I will not let him down. I am still human and I know I will mess up but I am so thankful for His grace and His forgiveness. We should treat each day as it could be our last. I will glorify God through this storm in my life. I am really working on releasing my fear and learning to live again.

New Normal..or Not So Normal

2010-10-28T11:03:00.000-07:00

On September 19, I woke up at 4 am and went to the bathroom and got back in bed and my world started spinning uncontrollably. I have never been so sick. I was profusely sweating, vomiting and couldn't walk. Phillip took me to the hospital and was diagnosed with vestibular neuronitis. My symptoms were not getting better and I started having trouble seeing at times. So after about 10 days, I finally told my doctor and he sent me for an MRI. He and I were thinking multiple sclerosis. It was the longest week. We finally got the results and it appears that I never had vestibular neuronitis but had a cerebellar stroke. It is healing but I am petrified. I can't leave my husband and little ladies. I know that God saved me for a reason. He protected me from an absolutely catastrophic event. I trust that He is with me and I am trying to put away the fear. I am human and it creeps into my thoughts all the time. Everytime that my head tingles or the headache starts pounding I worry. Everytime I leave my girls and husband, I wonder if its the last time I see them. I am doing lots of tests right now and hopefully will have answers soon. I will get an appt with a neurologist soon and hopefuly will find out why but 30% of young people with strokes never know the why. Until then I know God is taking care of us. I continue to battle dizziness and trouble with vision and speaking and typing at times and my fine motor skills are really bad and I feel 10 weeks pregnant but I am not. I will continue to heal but ask for your prayers.

WOW...March

2010-03-01T09:22:00.000-08:00

I honestly cannot remember the saying about March, but it is cold, raining and snowinf right now. That has been our weather pattern for much of this year so far. I always love to truly experience the seasons. I hope that this will lead to some amazing West Texas thunderstorms to come. I love storms...controlled storms...and not 'storms' in my personal life. So maybe I don't really like storms.

We are doing great. Becca is sitting up and trying to scooch herself along. She adores her big sisters and I pray that the special relationship that they have now continues. Reese is still the same as always. She wants to be big so bad. Kaylee is doing awesome at school. She is getting ready to baptised. She is taking it very seriously and trying to figure out her relationship with Christ. She has a heart as big as Texas. Really all my children do which I am so blessed by that. We must be doing something right. LOL!

Life has been steadily moving along and we are thouroughly enjoying seeing how God is working in our lives...at home, work, school and Sweetwater.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T10:32:00.001-08:00

We have had a wonderful day so far. Happy Birthday Jesus! Santa brought the girls both American Girl dolls and Becca the Fisher-Price table. They were given way too much stuff but oh, well. We are truly feeling God's blessings this year. It is neat having a white Christmas. Sweetwater got about 6 in of snow. The snow wasn't very sticky at first but after waiting a while, a snowman was built by daddy and Kaylee. Reese went out once but decided that she did not like being cold. It was fun.

Here are a few things the girls have been saying lately: on the way to Sterling, we played different made up games. At each town we changed games and the girls traded on making up games. In between Bronte and Robert Lee it was Kaylee's turn. She wanted to play the quite game. Reese said,"I do not want to play the quiet game...I want to play the loud game". And she was.

Kaylee told us the other day that she was sad that she didn't have a cute name like Becca and that she had dark brown hair. We explained that her name was special to us and that God had given her special to us and at the time that He had chosen. He knew she would be the perfect Biggest Sister.

Becca has been cute in that she opens her own presents and that she loves getting gifts.

Fun in the Fall

2009-11-16T07:54:00.000-08:00

We have had such a crazy fall so far and are fastly approaching my favorite time or year. I am so ready for the bundling days of winter and the exciting preparation of celebrating our Savior's birth. We had a fall festival and my sweet husband dressed as me and I dressed as a preacher. He wore a blonde wig and my scrubs. He was so cute. My girls each dressed as a Star Wars character: Kaylee: Queen Amidala, Reese: Darth Vader (of course) And Becca Padame. Phillip has turned 33 and I will be celebrating 32 this week. I remember when my mom was 35 and I thought she was so old. I just had a baby!! I don't feel old. In my heart I am still 23 and just married. We have such a happy family and I am so blessed. I hope you enjoy the pictures. I hope they all download.

Bottles and Boobs

2009-10-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

Becca has got to be our most stubborn child ever and maybe in the history of children in general. I love her to death and she LOVES her mommy. She will only eat for me whether from a bottle or the breast. It is insane. I had always been told that a nursing mommy would never be able to get her baby to take a bottle. Wrong. Phillip can't, the baby-sitter can't. It is absolutely insane. How long can a baby go without eating if I simply don't come around? I know that it is longer than 8 hrs because that is how long she went on Fri and Sat until I fed her. I will take all advice and try anything. I can't give up nursing though. I just can't. It is too good for the baby. So, I am sending out an SOS!!

Settled

2009-10-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

I do have a new baby-sitter that is coming to my home. She is 20 years old and is taking some college courses on-line. She is really sweet. We are trying to get Becca's reflux under control so that she feels better and I think we will be doing good. I also have another prayer request that can't be posted that has nothing to do with church but it is complicated so if you want that info shoot me an email at mthomas@sweetwater.esc14.net.

God is Good <>< All the Time

Please pray

2009-10-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

Please pray that we find a new sitter for my kids. We have had two. Both of them say that my kids are great but that their kids don't handle sahring their mommies and I totally understand that. I hate that I cannot stay home and take care of my kids but I can't. I want someone that will come in and love my children. So I am asking for my friends to pray.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2009-10-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

I haven't quite figured it all out yet but I will try to get some pics up soon. We have discontinued our internet service at home, so I have to get a new system for updating my blog.

We are doing fairly well. Becca has started her second baby-sitter. Her name is Christi and I really like her. She keeps Reese also 2 days a week. I continue to pray that they will bond well. I do realize a baby is very hard to keep especially when they are so little but she is doing better every day. She is doing much better with her reflux and is only waking up once during the night. WooHoo!! She has started cooing and smiling and I love that.

I am knee deep in flu mess. We have had a lot of sickness in our schools and it is so hard to know what the right decision is for our schools. Half of the kids we have out have either the confirmed flu or influenza-like illness and have not been to see a doctor because they are so full. Everyone has an idea of how to handle it and it is driving me nuts. Oh, well. I love the rest of my job though.

Kaylee is doing great in school. I still wish she had a best friend in school but she doesn't yet. It doesn't bother her as much as it does me. She is quite happy. She loves learning and is learning to read pretty good. She loves to be outside. Loves animals and is on Team Level 1 in gymnastics and I have been so impressed on her progress.

Reese is also doing well. She is hilarious as always. She is going to be Darth Vader for Halloween. She is talking up a storm and impersonates people all the time. She also is trying to learn to read and she probably will be by the end of the year. She has also started gymnastics and is so cute to watch.

Phillip is Phillip. Church is going well. We will be starting our building soon. We feel so blessed to have this church. We really love Sweetwater and can't see ever leaving. I am so proud of him.

Houston, we have a problem...

2009-09-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

Our computer is down. I want to post pics but only do it from our home computer so it will come.

Becca update:

We had our second sonogram on Thursday and after four phone calls to the pediatrician I still do not know the exact results. His nurse tried to tell me that the report was not in but I know that it was completed by 1000 on Friday. Needless to say I am not happy. Especially with a 3 day weekend. I will be asking the doc on Tue when he got my message. Becca at times gets this look on her face of pure panic and screams out and is stiff as a board. This doesn't present to me as colic. Maybe it is but Kaylee had it and this is not how she acted. I did see something quite large on her right ovary that was not there last time. I know the sonographers were surprised by it and there was a left shift in the uterus so it is putting pressure on her little body. It makes me so mad that I can tell two nurses(Excuse me, med techs) that my baby is hurting and never get a return call from the doctor. It has taken everything that I have not to call the on-call physician. I will update as I can.

In other news, we placed my grandma on hospice (dad's mom)two weeks ago. SHe fell nad broke her hip on Mon and has now had surgery and spent the rest of the week in ICU and now is back in a private room. They felt like the surgery could be fatal but she did survive. I know that she doesn't have long for this life and I am comforted that she is ready to go. I will miss her but she is so ready.

What have I done?

2009-08-21T19:01:00.001-07:00

Really probably not a whole lot but with the recent change in Reese's behavior, I have been wondering if I am being the type of mom that God would be proud of. Am I too hard, too easy? Do I give in to one child more than another?

Sometimes, I feel that we are way hard on Kaylee. She is over all a wonderful kid and we let her have her space as much as possible but is it too much. I know it makes some parents nervous that we allow Kaylee to play outside by herself in the front yard and let her wander and explore as long as we can keep an eye on her. At the same time. I get so frustrated with her when she does really dumb stuff. She doesn't listen all the time and we have really tried to crack down on that. I expect her to mind the first time and am not allowing much sway from that but then there are times when I fail. I try really hard to teach her about God's love and how important it is to mirror that in our relationships. I can't stand the way she talks to Reese sometimes and the way she does things. I really think part of our battle is battling with the Disney channel and Hannah,Wizards, and Suite Life. They have absolutely no respect for parents and we don't allow it for the most part. So, am I messing up.

Then there is Reese. Reese was such a sweetie until about 3 months ago and then the little hellion arrived. She is so disobedient. She will stand 3 feet from you and won't come when you ask. She is now wetting her pants again because she, "is okay that she is wet". We have spanked, sat in time out and threw away toys. She doesn't care. She will close her eyes when you are disciplining her and I so want to ring her little neck. I wonder if we had let her get away with too much before. But she seriously used to mind. So who knows.

I have been really praying about our parenting and asking God to continue to guide us as we raise the children He gave us. I want to bring them up in the ways that He wants us to. I get really nervous about all the PK (preacher's kids) reputation. I know some great ones though. So, again who knows.

We have a lot of exciting news I cannot blog about and that drives me nuts so we are again looking at going private so that I can truly blog my heart. I know I don't have many readers but cannot afford to have accidents. It really isn't anything big and it only affects me, but I am excited. And, no, we are not expecting!! So, if you try to get in one day and can't email me or ask on FB. I really don't think I have many readers but we shall see. I will post pics soon but have not put everything together yet.

The New Normal

2009-08-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

We are trying to adjust to a new normal. I am still exhausted by midafternoon but have battled a small infection the last couple of days which may explain that. Kaylee has been a wondeful help and Reese has to but she sure has the "I don't want to's". She is just now really starting to push the mindind limits. She had always done so well until about 8 wks ago. Needless to say, the spanking spoon is staying close at hand.

I hope to get to go to church on Sun. I cannot stand not being there. We have officially been home a week and Becca will be 2 wks old tomorrow. We are having an ultrasound done on Fri just to check her because of the in utero cyst and make sure it is all gone. Plus the doctor wants to make sure she doesn't have kidney reflux since Reese did. Reese is going to be in a wedding on Sat also.

Phillip's dad is finally doing a little better. He is finally taking in sme food but is still not feeling well. Keep him in your prayers. So I thought I would post a few pics also.

Becca Paige

2009-07-25T19:54:00.000-07:00

Becca was born on July 22 after I began to show signs of preeclampsia. She weighed 7 lbs and was 19 1/2 inches long. She was diagnosed with TTN(transient tachypnea of the newborn ) and later went into RDS (respiratory distress syndrome). SHe is doing much better now but has been intubated, had a feeding tube, had an IV and all sorts of fun things. But she is a trooper. This AM she had all her tubes out but now has her 02 and feeding tube back in. SHe just is not wanting to wake up and I am wondering if she is becoming jaundices which really makes them sleepy. I will update as I am able but please keep us in your prayers. I will post pictures of my sweet girls soon. Also pray for Kaylee and Reese. They are doing well but I know this is hard on them.

Becca Paige

2009-07-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

Miss Becca made her arrival on the 22nd after I began having symptoms of preeclamsia. My blood pressure had shot up to 156/95 and wouldn't come down. The only solution is to deliver the baby and at 37 1/2 weeks we would never have thought there would be any problems. But to top it off she is a c-section and doesn't get that necessary squeeze. She was first diagnosed the TTN (transient tacnypnea of the newborn) and the next day was told she had RDS (respiratory distress syndrome). She was placed on the vent and gien 3 doses of surfactant and she has done beautifully. She was extubated today and is now on 1/8 of a liter. She is also eating and no longer has her gavage tube( suctions our her tummy of air). All she has left is her IV and O2 and they have discontinued her antibiotics.

Her sisters love her to death and we cannot wait to share her with the world. She weighed 7# and was 19 1/2 in long and has a head full of black hair but her face looks like the other two. She is a beauty and a precious gift of God. We have learned to

Here's the Scoop

2009-07-20T19:57:00.000-07:00

We will have a baby on July 31st or before. That means we will meet the newest member of our family in 11 days. I can do it. My last day to work is next Mon. I have 5 more days to work and that is awesome. I have everything ready for Becca. Her bag is packed, her clothes are all washed and her bed is ready. My and Phillip's bag has been started and will be done soon. I got the girl's shirts made today. They say: "Daddy's Big Princess", Daddy's Little Princess" and "Daddy's Littlest Princess". They are precious. I have made as much plans as I possibly can. I sure do hope that she will come early though.

Phillip's dad is having a bowel resection on July 28th. This means that he will not be able to be there for Becca's arrival. I hate that his family will be torn between 2 hospitals in 2 different towns. It kills me. I am trying to figure out how to make it easy on everybody and I don't want anything left out. My absolute desire is to have Becca a few days earlier so that everyone is there.

One more week down

2009-07-10T15:11:00.000-07:00

It is miserably hot. But it is one less week we hav to wait for Miss Becca's arrival. We have completed swimming lessons for both of the girls and they will be headed to Nana's Sun after a baby shower and baseball game. We will also be completing our second P3 (Praise and Party in the Park).

I have been having quite a few contractions lately. Some of them take my breath away. However, none of them are consistent. So we wait. I am trying not to be impatient. I finally found the rest of my baby clothes that I thought were lost. I have been having increased palpitations and couldn't get my shoes on this am. So we wait.

God's been busy

2009-07-02T15:46:00.001-07:00

We went for our sonogram this week and Dr. M did not find the cyst. It is gone!! We are so thrilled. The power of prayer is indescribable. God has been busy with us lately. Healing Becca and saving our two older girls. I sure hope He doesn't want to take a break. It is wonderful to feel His presence in our lives. I think that we sometimes take His miracles for granted. At first the doctor said well, maybe there was a mistake in the first sono. But he knew as well as we did that God had performed a modern day miracle. We celebrated at Carinos. Tomorrow we are going to watch the Rangers play. My last outing before Miss Becca's arrival and we cannot wait to meet her.

What's that smell??

2009-06-29T16:20:00.001-07:00

When I woke up this morning there was an absolutely horrible smell. At first, I threw out the dog and her crate because it smelled like dog pee. Then I walked through the house and looked for accidents. None found. I went back to my room and put on my make-up. Then noticed that the smell was worse. I called my husband and he told me to get the girls and leave. So we did. He came back and looked around and he too couldn't find anything and said it was the worst smell he had ever smelled. Later we had a friend of ours come by and he couldn't find the problem...worst smell he had ever smelled. The smell smelled like ammonia.***Side note***had asked the hubby if I could have the fire dept come by and test for gases and he said we should wait***

We open up all the windows and come back later in the afternoon. House still smelled but was worse in the nursery and girl's room. I kept calling my dad and telling him that something was wrong with the A/C and he kept telling me that it didn't make sense. We changed out the A/C filter, cleaned out the sewer lines above the house and then decided to start stripping the girl's room. Phillip stripped Kaylee's bed and then went to Reese's. He said he had found something. I asked if it was a dead animal. He then lifted up what remained of Reese's baby blanket. It was charred to a crisp as well as her sheets, mattress pad and mattress. The blanket had fallen on her night light. Talk about a parent's worst nightmare come true. I have always hated that the girl's are on one side of the house and we are on another... because of fires. How they survived is only a blessing from the Lord. He saved my children when I didn't even know that they needed saving. Thank you God for your watchfulness and for loving us so much.

Vacation??

2009-06-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

I started my vacation on Thurs. We ended up driving the church bus to Brownwood at 9:00 so the youth could have it to drive home which got us home around 1:20. I had taken Reese to the doctor that morning because she was running fever and was told it was a summer cold. We were up that night until 2:30 am. We left for Sterling City Friday around lunch and Reese is still running fever. Finally called the doc back because she was still running fever and pulling on her ear and had some yellow drainage now. Problem...nearest pharmacy is 45 minutes away. That night, Phillip stayed up with Reese until 2:30 and then put her down. Only for her to wake up at 3:30 ready to start her day. I wrestled with her until 6 and then Nana woke up and I thought I would try to go to sleep. Couldn't. Got back up ate breakfast and was going to take a bath but fell asleep until 10:30. Then decided to take a long bath only to discover that the hot water heater was temporarily out of commission. 2 hrs later I got my bath but the snow cone place wasn't open and I couldn't get comfortable to take a nap. Vacation?? Oh, well... Who needs one anyway.

Keep on Rolling

2009-06-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

We are just trying to keep things normal. I am trying desperately to remember that God can see my baby even when I cannot and He knows the outcome and has our best interests at heart. There are times when fear does rear its ugly head. I feel like if I just knew where it was I would feel better but that would probably just lead to more questions. I do the normal thing as to trying to figure out if I could have caused it. I know better than to drink caffeine but one a day isn't much. Is it all the antibiotics I had to be on to get rid of the staph infection? Or is it the labetolol? Or is it because I have such a hard time slowing down? Or, or, or??? I am really trying hard not to do that but it happens anyway.

The girls are with my dad at the lake. They are having a wonderful time. When they come back, they will come back to a new room of sorts. We have taken out their two old dressers and replaced them with newly painted new to them dressers. Reese's old dresser is now in Becca's room and all the toys are in the new playroom that still needs some organization. The crib is in our possession and may get put up tomorrow but more likely on Monday. Mattie (our dog) is also getting fixed on Monday. I have done 8 loads of laundry today and it feels good to have everything clean. My house got cleaned on Friday thanks to a lady in our church. I literally cried when she told me that she would pay to have my house cleaned for a few weeks. Things are finally getting done and that feels good. Now it is time for shower and bed. I will probably sleep really good tonight. Poor Phillip has been sleeping in the living room because my pregnancy snoring has turned a whole new page of loudness. He even has to shut the door. I would be embarrassed but he snores all the time and I only snore for 4-5 months of pregnancy.

Prayers for Becca

2009-06-17T19:28:00.001-07:00

I went for my routine sonogram today and it was no longer a routine sonogram. I had asked the perinatologist if he could see her umbilical cord because she hadn't seemed as active over the last couple of days. She was still rolling some but not as forceful with her kicks. So as he is looking, I noticed that he was taking a little longer than normal. He said, "well, I have found a cyst and I can't find where it originates. It does not appear to be on her spinal column or on her kidneys but I can't find where it starts". Then he proceeds to say that he has never seen one quite like this. This guy has been doing this for 10-15 yrs. Not the thing you want to hear. It is about the size of a cherry. He said it might be related to estrogen levels and it may go away on its own. It is difficult to tell if it is internal od external because of how she is positioned. I go back to see him on July 2nd. It had already been a crazy day. Phillip was supposed to go with me but he ended up having to do a funeral so I was by myself. Thankfully this was the last night of VBS and then I am going to make a consertive effort to slow down. So, just pray for my little baby. I am going to go to bed. I don't have tears left and just need to seek refuge in our Savior and remember how blessed we truly are.

Just Stuff

2009-06-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

Thankfully Phillip is reporting that the tingling in his left foot is progressivly getting better. So...it would appear that the shot worked. However, Phillip's mom had surgery to repair her back and now is having tingling that she was not having before. We are praying that it is just a result of swelling and will go away and not get any worse. I have not been feeling the greatest lately but I would guess a lot of it has to do with too much on my plate. I am directing VBS and it is next week and thankfully I have a few really hard volunteers but I know there are so many otheres that could probably help but don't think about it. It would so help take the load off all the others. But that is just the nature of the beast that is VBS. On top of that, I just don't feel anywhere prepared for Miss Becca. We have not had time to paint the dressers so not much has changed. I know we still have a few weeks but we have church plans for the next 3 weeks that will consume all of my husband's time. And I don't want him to work, work, work and then come home to me nagging. I have been such a grump that I just hope that I still have friends after this is all over with. I am definately feeling the strain. So, enough of my pity party and now maybe I can just get over it. I need to not be the "planner" I always am and just relax. Oh, the girls are great!!

Long-Short Week

2009-06-06T07:29:00.001-07:00

No it was absolutely the longest week ever but after it was over it seemed like it was only a day. I have battled a staph infection and a sinus infection. Have taught 2 CPR classes, baked 2 cakes, cooked for the youth and went to see a movie with my family. Now it is Sat and I am hoping to clean and get ready for Becca. We put her swing up this week and am going to try and paint and change out dressers for all three girls. If I can get them painted and in place today, I will be able to put clothes in them tomorrow and possible get the crib and set it up. I also bought the all important Dreft so I can wash clothes and blankets. I usually wash all the equipment (swing, bouncer, car seat, playards) but only the swing and car seat survived the 5 weeks in the PODS. So, I guess we will just do without this time around. We are all getting excited and can't wait to meet this squirmy little creature!!

More Pics

2009-06-02T18:07:00.001-07:00

These are pic from our time in Dallas witht the Mitchells. They took us to some great places. The girls had a blast. I love the picture of the flamingos that were sitting next to each other and their necks made a heart. It was really sweet.

Pics

2009-06-02T16:08:00.000-07:00

First we have Kaylee's gymnastics competition where she recieved her gold medal and was elevated to Level 2 gymnastics. She is so pumped. You can't use your flash so most of the pics are a little fuzzy but these were good. next we have Kaylee's first missing tooth. And lastly are a few pics from our Dallas trip.

Activity Update

2009-05-27T14:53:00.000-07:00

We have the front of the house and it looks awesome. Phillip's dad came down and built the back fence. We have installed a new front door. We have gotten rid of the dreaded bed in the nursery so now we can: take all the toys from old playroom to new playroom, go through all of the clothes to see what is salvagable. This week I have cleaned out the car so we can go out of town. Phillip has his dr appt tomorrow, I am getting my hair done, and will pack. I have a cake due on Sunday and Monday. I am helping host the youth on Wed. We have VBS coming up which I am the director. I have been blessed with a friend who is going to paint the nursery but then I just have to get everything in order. I need to switch out several dressers since Kaylee's broke yesterday. It should be fun!! Oh, and we are going to have a baby soon. I am personally guessing the last week of July and she will weigh 6#15 oz. Don't know why but that is what I think.

9 more weeks

2009-05-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

Sonogram today showed that Miss Becca weighs 3# and she was moving her mouth in a sucking motion and thankfully her little thumb was beside her chest and not in her mouth. The perinatologist said that he felt like he could find an excuse to deliver the end of July. She is growing well and all things are looking good. Have had a few contractions but nothing excing and definately not ready. I have the cradle up and nothing done in the nursery and it is driving me crazy. If anyone wants to move the huge bed that is in my soon-to-be nursery that would be great.

Phillip has an appt to see the doc in 1 week and we are hoping that we can get an injection on that following Mon.

Thorns

2009-05-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

I remember last time that Phillip injured his back telling him that I feel like Phillip's back injury is like Paul's thorn in his side. I was reminded of that today. Here is the passage:

"I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be telling the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I say or do. TO keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me, But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong". 2 Cor. 2: 5-10

I feel the passage speaks for itself. I could never see my husband being boastful about anything. He has always placed his "success" solely in allowing God to work through him and not the things that he himself accomplishes. However, I feel that this is amazing into itself. He is truly a man of God, seeking His will at every turn. I am overally blessed to have him as the leader of my family. At the same time he has this persistent back injury that will completely bring him to his knees. It always seems to be at the height of activity. What we have decided to rely on is the strength that only comes from God. I know we are not the only ones that experience thorns in our lives. We all have them. The key is to realize that when we are weak, we have the awesome opportunity to allow God's strength through us to be revealed as a living testimony.

I also have to thank my in-laws for coming this weekend and helping get some of our projects completed. I know Phillip doesn't feel well because he is just allowing them to work. I know how hard that is for him. So, keep us in your prayers. I will diligently, persistently try to move us Phillip's injection day beginning tomorrow. I long for relief for him. He says everyday he wakes up and everything is different.

Update

2009-05-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

We saw the doc today and found out that basically the docs who had done Phillip's surgery in the past didn't do a very good job. He has a ton of scar tissue and his disc is 60% displaced but no new displacement. However the disc is placing pressure on the nerve and the doc said that he does not feel like he would have permanent nerve damage to try and injection and reevaluate in 4 weeks. We get up to the counter and the doc that does the injections can't do it for 3 weeks. I asked if that was the soonest since the doctor said as soon as possible and they just looked at me. Then they scheduled the follow-up for July 1. I was not exactly happy. Thankfully my sister Lacy works for another spine doc in Abilene that does the injections and I am hoping that Phillip can get in sooner there. I had explained that we both can't have had surgery at the same time and the doc had agreed so...I will call tomorrow to see what else can be done. Phillip is not sleeping and is in constant pain, so 3 weeks would be miserable. So, continue with the prayers. If this doesn't make sense I am pulling my hair out with a fiesty 2 yr old.

Prayer Request

2009-05-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

Phillip has injured his back. Most likely it is the same disk that has been injured before. He is progressively losing feeling in his left foot. He has an MRI in the am and I have gotten him in to see a neurosurgeon in Abilene tomorrow afternoon. I thought he had left Abilene but we had seen him 5 yrs ago so feel good about seeing him again. He is thankfully on steroids now and is feeling a little less pain but it is driving him nuts to not be able to feel his foot. Also pray that if he is to have surgery it can be soon...like Monday. He has to preach a funeral on Friday. So if you think about him, say a prayer for him. No one would know he was hurting unless you really know him. His pain threshold is amazing. I just hate seeing him in pain.

S-l-o-o-w progress

2009-05-04T19:28:00.001-07:00

Saturday I had a great visit with a childhood friend, Kristin. It is so neat to be able to hang out with someone you probably hadn't seen in 7 yrs and be able to relax and chat. It makes me miss the simple days. Then on Sunday I was able to get Becca's cradle up and some laundry done after a 3 1/2 hr nap. Today, after a nice days work, I helped Phillip build a fence and get some trash out to the dumpster and I FOUND REESE'S 2T SUMMER CLOTHES!!!! Which now means that I have to take out a ton of clothes that are too small to make room for clothes that fit but that won't take long. And I am finishing up laundry. I may have to nest for the next 3 mo...to the day. The count down is on. 12 weeks and counting. We are so ready to meet this sweet little girl.

Reese, What is on your face?

2009-05-02T17:16:00.001-07:00

"Not nutting".

So we then asked her to go look at herself in the mirror. Afterwards she came back and said, "marker". Permanent blue marker I might add.

Pregnancy Dementia

2009-04-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

It is getting worse. I can't think of people's names and run errands and forget to take things to where they need to go. It's great. I really don't have time to chase my tail. I have a list a mile long on things to do before Becca arrives. We are so busy and never have enough time to get everything done. I guess all we really have to do is get the cradle up. But we want to paint the outside of the house, put in a new lawn, build a back fence, put up a trampoline, get old playroom cleaned out for the nursery and make a new playroom, wash all the baby stuff, find Reese's 2T summer clothes...sleep. Oh and go to Seaworld, do VBS, go to Dallas to see friends and get in a Ranger's game. 12 weeks 3 days and some hrs before her arrival.

Prayers for a friend

2009-04-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

I am asking that my family and friends pray for a dear friend of ours: Miss Ella. She had to go to the hospital yesterday morning for seizures possibly related to a urinary tract infection and fever. Ella has had a tough little life but she is also an amazing little girl. If you want to see her full story go to "The Mitchells" at the bottom of my blog list.

Phillip's blog

2009-04-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Phillip has a blog now. It currently is a summary of his sermons but one day it will hopefully have his sermons for you to hear. So check it out: www.phillipthomas.wordpress.org

Brain Storming

2009-04-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

I am seriously considering attempting to make cakes in hopes that one day I can stay home more. I may work PRN as a nurse and do cakes or who knows. But here are a few of the onesI have done. I will be working on a separate blog/web site soon.

Easter

2009-04-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful Easter with family and love now hearing Reese repeat the meaning of Easter. It is absolutely precious when your children tell you that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and rose again because he loved us so much. Such an undeserving grace He gives us...daily. My babies looked beautiful and I have to share.

Reese's First Haircut

2009-04-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

It was not much of one. I had tried to keep her without bangs but it became clear that her hair wanted bangs so I broke down and got her hair trimmed.

It's kinda like the Three Little Pigs

2009-04-06T15:55:00.000-07:00

Well, not really but most good things do come in threes. We are actually beginning to get very excited about Miss Becca Paige's arrival. Every morning Reese asks if she can hold Becca today. Kaylee is coming around too and we will be well taken care of in our old age. So sorry for all you saps with all boys...hopefully they will let you at least pick which nursing home you go to ;). We have purchased our going home outfit for Baby Becca and the girls thought it was precious. So, we are adjusting. I really am not sure why it is an adjustment but it is more a state of mind. we are looking of 9 years straight of prom dresses and dating. So pray for us. I figure if we start now we will survive.

I guess I should have never...

2009-03-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

Told God, really just encouraged Him, that I did not want girls because now we will have 3!! The good thing is that she is healthy and moving around like crazy. Kaylee will be devastated. She told her teacher the other day, "that even the dog wants a boy. Reese is the only one that wants a girl". So, I guess I will not throwing away any of our pretty little dresses and it will be cheaper this way. Oh, well. I always have said that God knows how to complete families and I guess that means no little boys allowed.

It's a ...

2009-03-25T13:31:00.000-07:00

healthy baby!! They doctor said it is a boy...or a girl. No matter the baby looks healthy and is right on size. However, because of the blood pressure medication I am on, I will have to have monthly ultrasounds so more than likely it won't stay a surprise. The girls are really excited and it is so amazing how much you can see. We thank God for the blessings of another healthy baby.

Brant Lee

2009-03-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

Brant Lee was born at 1801 after lots of drama for the mama. He was sunny side up and didn't like to be turned and had to be removed with forceps. He weighed 5# and was 18 1/4 inches long. One of his great aunts called him a 5# sack of flour. Thought that was very observant. He struggled for a little bit with his breathing and he may have to be taught to eat but he's slowly figuring it out. Tomorrow we have our sonogram and I am worried that Reese is expecting us to actually have the baby tomorrow. Oh, on a side note... Christy and Randy's anniversary is today also. I will try to post pics tomorrow but I forgot my camera today.

Prayer Request

2009-03-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

I am asking that you pray for my sister. She is 36 weeks pregnant with her first baby and the baby's heartrate is dropping some. They are planning on delivering the baby tomorrow by c-section or at least induce and see how the baby handles it. My sister is not wanting visitors and it is very hard for me. She used to not be like that so instead I am asking people to pray for the two of them. It is so hard for me to stand back, stay home and know that she is hurting. I am her big sister and I should be able to hold herr and tell her that God is in control even when things seem to be out of control.

Getting Focused

2009-03-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

Update: Nothing is wrong with my heart, thankfully. My body is just not appreciating being pregnant. Anyways, they have put me on a blood pressure medicine and it has made a world of difference. Next week we have our sonogram. I am excited. It is always fun to "meet" the little thing that keeps kicking you bladder. And no, we do not plan on finding out what it is. We are taking the girls. Kaylee will think it is pretty cool. Not so sure about Reese (who actually has the stomach bug today).

I have had a revelation. It shouldn't be a revelation but a way of life but as I so easily do...I have lost focus. I am so extremely frustrated with my job. Some strong thoughts actually come to mind. I really think it is with nursing in general and a sue happy society but give me a break. So, in saying all of that I have let it drive me nuts. When in actuality I should be focused on the millions of things to be thankful for. I have an amazing husband. I know all of you think you husband is amazing but my husband is out of this world. My children are beautiful and I commonly joke that I wish they weren't so pretty but I am so proud of them in all that they do and they are good kids. I am thankful for a wonderful church and church family. It has been truly amazing and we have so many blessed friends. My parents are great and they take good care of my babies. My in-laws are more than in-laws. They are an extension of my family. And whether or not I like my job, I have one and I have an income. Those are just a few, but I am going to choose to be thankful for what God has blessed me with instead of focused on the one negative in my life. Especially when I actually love what I do.

New Details

2009-02-26T16:01:00.000-08:00

For over a week now I have been having an increased heart rate. I called my doc on Tues and I am now hooked up to a Halter Monitor to monitor my heart rate over the next 24 hrs. However, I have not been feeling well. Last night I came home and laid down for 2 hrs and my heart rate only decreased to 110. My heart rate while up and about is ranging from 122-146 and I get clammy and SOB. Good news is that I did see our family doc and he did an EKG and I am in a normal rhythem and during the rest while I was lying flat and holding my breath was 80. He asked if I was stressed. HMM. I told him that I am an expert in worry. I can't imagine that this would be the reason for it but I am no doctor. So, please pray for me and the little tyke trying to grow inside. He did say that the baby was probably fine.

Sleeping Beauties

2009-02-18T15:24:00.000-08:00

We let the girls sleep together over the holidays and this is how I found them one night. I always go and check on them before I go to bed. Neither of them woke up when I took Kaylee out from under her sister. I was worried she might suffocate. It was hilarious.

Goat Show

2009-02-18T15:18:00.000-08:00

Kaylee was invited to be in a livestock show and she showed one of our friend's goats. SHe woke up that morning and said it was the best day of her life. I asked her if it was better than the day Reese was born and she repeated that this was the best day of her life. She was so excited and did a great job. She got a little bashful when the judge came and asked her a question. She was beaming at the end and recieved a ribbon for honorable mention that is hanging on her bulletin board. She plans to go to the Lay's house so that she can practice for next year even thought she cannot compete until she is 9. FFA is definately in her future.

Star Wars

2009-02-18T15:12:00.001-08:00

This is how I found Reese and her Daddy last Sunday after napping. Reese wakes up in the morning and begins requesting Star Wars. As soon as we come home from any where she asks for Star Wars. She knows almost all of their names and talks about them all the time. She is obsessed and Kaylee was too at that age. It is really weird. Phillip says that if this next one is a boy, he will probably hate Star Wars. I doubt it, although it is hard for me to find the excitement in it. Oh, I shot the TV so I could remember what they were watching and I think that it is so sweet that Daddy sets her up with her doll too.

My children

2009-02-10T19:44:00.000-08:00

This doesn't actually have anything to do with things my kids do although they are absolutly precious. Before Phillip and I went to Brazil I wrote letters to Kaylee for all the important events that happen in every little girl's life: when she accepts Chirst, first day of kindergarten, middle school, wedding, going to college, becoming a "woman", getting a car...you get the picture. I realize that I need to also do the same for Reese. Phillip thinks I am a little silly but at the same time he wrote each of the girls letters and me as well when he went to Sudan. (He gave the letters to his BF Craig and Craig came by a little later and he looked like he had lost his best friend and now I know why.)I just know that we are never guaranteed tomorrow and I want my children to know that I am thinking about these special moments even now. My mom was the one that always told me how proud she was of me and ever since she has been gone, there is such a void and I don't want my children to ever forget how blessed I am by them and how proud I am to be privelaged to be there Mommy. It is an awesome thing to be a mommy and I love every moment of it.

PS Sorry no pics yet. I have got some goodies.

Facebook

2009-02-06T20:52:00.000-08:00

I have joined facebook. Why? I really do not know. It is crazy and kinda freaky. All the networking that it does and how do people find me? It is nuts. I am still not sure what I am going to do with it. It is cool to see people that you haven't seen in 12 years though. I still think blogging is more fun and I know I really need to post more pictures. I will maybe tomorrow. Right now I am going to bed.

Baby names and more

2009-01-26T15:35:00.000-08:00

Aren't kids the cutest things ever. Our girls keep us in stitches. Reese has gotten to say things in voices. Don't know where they came from and it is usually random. She also has developed some pretty hilarious walks. The other day I asked Reese if she had gotten a brownie. She looked up with puppy dog eyes and says, "Not yet". She is getting so big. Kaylee has been taking an active role in picking out baby names. She wants to name a boy, "Jim Craig" (from Man from Snowy River) and a girl, "Hannah Montana". So far we have vetoed both. But honestly Phillip has not been much better. For the boy, it is going to be Sterling Phillip Thomas. The girl has not been so easy. It is usually our easy name. I give him all sorts of names, "Claire, Leah, Lauren, Carrie, Darby, Bethany, Becca..." and Phillip says, "How about Rhonda?" "Rhonda??", I ask. And he responds," Well that's how I feel about all of those other names". It boils down to that he can't know anybody by the name that we choose. So after going through 500 names we settle on Paige. So nobody say anything negative about the name. I need to get through the next 6 months without him realizing that Paige Patterson shares that name and he is not someone Phillip admires. After that, alls fair. Hopefully we won't have to worry about it and the baby will be a boy. The Ancient Chinese calendar says that there is an 83% probability that it is a boy. It was right on the girls. But honestly, I don't really believe in that stuff.

Pregnancy Champ

2009-01-15T17:13:00.000-08:00

Well not really. I am still nauseated at times but Slurpies first thing in the morning does keep it at bay and eating early at night. I go to bed at close to 8 o'clock. Of course I have to potty many times throughout the night. I could out belch just about any middle school boy. I may even be able to belch the entire alphabet without having to swallow air. But other than that I feel great. Only 27 1/2 more weeks to wait to meet the new little Thomas. Hopefully it will be a slugger and not a dancer. But as long as it is healthy we really don't mind either way.

Baby #3

2009-01-07T18:41:00.000-08:00

Well, we went today and found that we have one little baby beating along inside. The baby is measuring a little big so...maybe it will come early. The girls are excited still we have our final ultrasound on March 25. And no, we will not be finding out what we will be having. It drives everyone crazy and we love that.

Exposed

2009-01-04T06:25:00.001-08:00

I am so amazingly blessed. God has given me more than I could have ever dreamed of and could ever deserve. I am such a planner and don't like things that I cannot control which makes being pregnant sometimes a scary thing for me. I have prayed for this baby since I was 15 years old. Not that I din't pray for my precious grils but Phillip only wanted to have 2 kids and I knew that someone's heart would have to change. Since having Reese I have been giving this baby up to the Lord. I prayed for Phillip but I prayed for me as well. I prayed that God would take away me desire for another baby if that is not what the Lord had planned for our family. But my desire grew much stronger and all I had to say to Phillip was that I wanted another baby and he said simply, "Okay". I was stunned. Then you get pregnant. I wish I wasn't so much of a what-ifer. I have so many friends and family that have struggled to get pregnant or had numerous miscarriages and I have been so blessed. I am no different and feel so undeserving. I constantly pray to God and thank Him for being able to see my baby as it develops because I cannot see it and that drives me crazy at times. So anyways, I am struggling today with being blessed and I know that sounds silly but I keep thinking that at any moment the bottom could drop out. At the same time it frustrates me that I am not trusting God with my life. He has alwyas been so good to me even when there has been tragedy. So I will continue to pray for God's peace.

Year in Review

2008-12-31T15:04:00.000-08:00

I stole this idea from a good friend. Thanks Becky!! It is amazing and wonderful to see how God blessed us in 2008 and look forward to His many blessings in 2009!

January: Kaylee has just turned 5 and sang her first solo in church. Molly is working in home health and Phillip is preparing to go to Africa with his friend Matt. We make several trips to Dallas to get "survival gear". Reese learns to run really well. She started walking in November and really was on the go now! We also begin to feel the Lord's tug on being open to God's plan for us. We visit friends Joe and Andrea and see Jeff and Jenn as well. Phillip leaves for Africa Jan 27.

February: Phillip is in Africa and the girls and I are surviving as best we can. Phillip attempted to call and I was at the Mercy Me concert. Thankfully I got a call 2 days later. Phillip returns to the states and his grandmother passes away as he is landing and Phillip did the service. He is amazing.

March: Was pretty quiet for us. Much needed actually looking back. At the time we had no clue as to what was ahead for us. We have the earliest Easter ever and it won't happen again for 92 years. I think I will probably miss it.

April: We make a trek to Sterling City for Phillip's dad's birthday. Molly had lasik eye surgery and loved it and I quit my job because I was working a ton of overtime and my boss didn't seem to care. Took a job with another home health care agency with a promotion.

May: In the first week of May we got a call from First Baptist church in Sweetwater. We sent our resumee and met with the search committee the last week of May and were thrilled with the possibilities.

June: The search process continues. We actually had people from the search committee visit for 4 consecutive Sundays. One Sunday we did not have a pianist and sand with tracks fro 35 minutes and one Sunday we did not have power and started our service with the lights out. They did come on about 15 minutes in. There was a lot of stress.

July: The process is continuing to go well. I tell my work that we would probably be moving soon. I was hoping to transfer with the company at first until I started seeing some crazy stuff going on. They ended up letting me go most likely because they thought that I knew I would be leaving prior to taking the job but I had no clue at the time. But God is Good! We get the call at the end of July that we would be coming in-view-of-a-call.

August: We pack and pack and throw away and throw away. We go to Crystal Beach with Phillip's family and had a wonderful time. We decide that we need to go there every year. (Didn't know that a month to the day later there would no longer be a Crystal Beach to go to this year, but hopefully in a few). We move to Sweetwater and Kaylee starts kindergarten and Reese starts full time day care and the most wonderful place ever. Reese turns 2!!

September: Molly starts a new job but old job. I started working for Hendrick Hospice Care again but this time in Home Care. I love Hospice and feel that is where God has truly called me. Reese really starts talking and we begin attending Mustang football. We are big high school football fans and love it. Kaylee starts with a new gymnastics.

October: We had fun with Halloween. Kaylee was a cowgirl and Reese was her little cow. They got lots of compliments. We celebrated Nana, Aunt Snell, Papa, and Aunt April's Birthdays. Crazy fun! Kaylee goes back to Gymnastics Sports Center with her cousin Emily.

November. We have Phillip and Molly's birthday. We celebrate Kaylee's birthday early so that hopefully the weather will be nice. It wasn't but all the girls had a great time. We have community and church services. We are staying nice and busy. Get to visit some with friends Craig and Fallon at the Baptist General Convention of Texas. We had a lot of fun and the kids stayed with friends. We try to slowly get Christmas shopping completed.

December: We find out on Dec 2 that Aunt Christy is having a baby boy and that we are expecting our 3rd child. Kaylee turns 6 and then find out that Aunt Mendy and Uncle Steve are going to be adopting a precious little baby named Alex. He gets to come home on Christmas Eve and we celebrate Christmas with all of our families and it was great!

God's blessings are ever present in our lives and we Thank HIM every day!!

Boobies

2008-12-29T19:18:00.000-08:00

I know it looks bad. I was showing the girls of what the baby looks like right no inside mommy's tummy. I was showing them the eyes, heart, hands, feet, ect... Reese yells, "Boobies"! She loves her boobies and so now they think it is a girl and are very sad. Oh, well. Only 7 more months!

Weary Traveler

2008-12-29T17:25:00.000-08:00

I have always thought of the 3 wise men as weary travelers as they journeyed for so long but at the same time they are in awe of our Lord. This Christmas I tried to really focus on the awesomeness of what our Lord did for us by sending His son, already knowing the outcome. Can you imagine, having a child knowing that it will be murdered by those that you love because of their selfishness--sin? I am so thankful that He did that for me and everyone. I was listening to the radio the other day and became infuriated. There was a pastor on the radio and he was saying that even God believes in Santa. They were talking and they were saying that if God could sit on Santa's lap He would ask that all people come to know Him. As I was yelling into the radio on how absurd the whole idea was, I truely became grateful for the reason I was upset. I was also saddened by a pastor that was so misguiding. The only reason not everyone has come to have a relationship with our Lord is because He desires for us to desire to have a relationship with Him. It is not forced but by our own choice. I am sure that this misguided pastor didn't really mean it that way but it really bothered me. So as this new year is approaching I challenge us all to strive to be the examples God has called us to be. For me, it will be to make sure my 'thought to mouth' filter is turned on. I want to ponder in my heart the blessings God has bestowed on me and the ones that I love and continue to teach my children of His unconditional love.

I'll be Home for Christmas

2008-12-24T09:07:00.000-08:00

Baby Alex is coming home today. I am sending my Angel Care monitor to Abilene for them to use until their's comes in. He is doing great. Emily, his big sister, is also ecstatic about his homecoming. We are all trying to get well so that we can be around him. I am trying to finish last minute gifts and we just told our little girls that Reese will be a big sister in July. We are telling our parents for Christmas so don't congratulate them until after the 26th. Reese says that it will be a boy. No more girls says she. We will see. Have a blessed Christmas and enjoy your families and remember why we have a celebration at all.

Christmas Miracle

2008-12-18T18:38:00.001-08:00

My aunt and uncle have a little girl that is 4 months older than Kaylee. They had tried and tried to have her and after numerous miscarriages were finally able to have Emily after having to undergo IGG treatments to keep her body from fighting the baby. So, they had decided that they were not going to be able to go through all of that again. So a couple of years ago they decided to adopt and put their book together. Two times they were picked by families only to have the moms change their mind. In Wed morning they got a phone call that they had a baby. They needed to update their home study but after that all was good. The mom had already signed over her rights and does not know who the father is. The baby was premature but now is taking a bottle and is breathing well. His name is James Alexander and will go by Alex. I don't have pics yet but I am sure that they will. The mom had wanted a closed adoption but has decided that an open adoption will be okay. Keep them in your prayers that everything will go okay. The doctor's say that the latest he will go home is New Year's Eve but we are praying for before Christmas!!

Kaylee's 6th Birthday

2008-12-18T18:18:00.000-08:00

Kaylee wanted to have a horse-back riding party so we had it in November so it wouldn't be so cold. Ha! It was the coldest it had been so far since March. The girls had a blast. Here are some pics. The top pic is Reese pretending to be a cowgirl and she even was walking with a cowboy swagger. It was hilarious.

WOW

2008-12-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

This is the first night since Kaylee's birthday party that we have been home. That would mean...4 weeks. I have no idea what we have been doing. We have quite a few extra church activities and then Tues is gymnastics and Wed night is church but goodness. This weekend we have our Christmas contata. Then I really think we will be laying low until the next weekend. Oh, and I work in Sweetwater for the next week plus one more day and then I am off for 3 days. So, looks like things are going well. Phillip is still diligently working on getting the house finished and I am trying to get presents wrapped and Christmas cards sent out. I am almost finished with shopping. Just the men in the family and one more present each for the girls. Plus stocking stuffers.

Some of the things going on in our house. Well Kaylee is officially 6 and we celebrated by going to Mr. Gattis. Kaylee is learning to read and is loving it. She is also helping with meals some and instituted her own chore chart. Reese on the other hand has become a little toot. I never know what we are going to find in her bed when we get her up in the morning. She gets things in the middle of the night and brings them to bed. The other morning we discovered that she had decided that she didn't need to sleep in diapers. We walk in and there is this naked bobo staring us in the face and of course wet sheets. I hope to potty train her when I am off for those few days in December.

Only 13 more shopping days left but take time to enjoy this time of year. It is time to reflect on the most undeserving gift we have ever received. It is our time to shine as Christians. Instead of getting into the Christmas bah hum bug spirit but to be a light. Let someone check out before you and don't run someone over to get into that close spot in the Mall parking lot. This time of year tends to bring out the worst in all of us but I have challenged myself to think more of how I should be acting as Christ would want us to act. Enjoy time fellowshipping with friends and love on your family. Merry Christmas!!

It's almost over

2008-11-21T18:01:00.000-08:00

November that is. I cannot believe how time is flying. We have been so crazy busy this month with no end in sight. Church keeps us hopping. Phillip just got back from going to Chicago to get a bus. I have been working and we have been enjoying developing relationships with new friends. It has been amazing. We have been here 3 months and it seems like we have been here forever. It is so apparent that God has placed us here. What an awesome feeling.

We have celebrated all of our birthdays now. We actually had Kaylee's last weekend because she wanted to ride horses and we thought it would be warmer inn November. We were wrong but the kids had a blast. We also roasted hot dogs and made smores. It was a hit. Pics to come. We are having a wonderful time and Christmas is comimg and that is my favorite time of year. I usually have all my Christmas shopping done by now and I think I have maybe 4 presents. Luckily we have decreased our number of gifts by drawing names or just buying for kids. We are trying to keep in perspective why we celebrate Christmas.

On another note, I asked Kaylee what she wanted Santa to bring her. She said she wasn't going to tell me because she wanted me to be surprised too. Boy was she going to be surprised. We have gotten her to agree that Santa has deeper pockets than we do and to ask for a playhouse that we got on sale. Have a great Thanksgiving if I don't post again before then.

My God Is Still God!!

2008-11-04T19:55:00.000-08:00

Well it would appear, unfortunately, that Obama has won the presidency. I have been praying for a long time that the man that needed to be in office would be there. I think that we put too much power in our president. When has a president ever been able to do all the things he promises to do anyway. I know in my heart that God is more powerful than any president ever will be. Just think if Christians would become as impassioned about their relationship with Christ as they have been about the election. Think about the things we could change just by becoming the disciples Jesus has commanded us to be. Don't get me wrong, I am nervous about the state that our nation is going to be in at this time next year but I also know that the Lord says not to worry about tomorrow. He also says that nothing is impossible with Him and that He is with us always. What a comfort when things don't go the way that we feel they should go.

On another note, I thought I would update on the affairs of our broken house. I am about to take a bath in a bathtub that does not leak. I just finished doing laundry in a W/D that work and make things smell so good. I washed dishes in a dish washer that cleans dishes this am. I have cold milk. My phone does not ring--not sure why not and my vacuum cleaner won't spin. Not bad over all.

God is Good and He is all the Time!!

Fair 2008

2008-10-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

These are some pictures of us at the fair this year with some friends Garrison and Grayson and we found cousin Emily there as well. We took Shayla and Lisa too for a night on the town and then headed to the rodoe where Grayson said that boy needs to stay on his donkey longer. We all had a blast and no one fell asleep on the way home.

Delayed Party Pics

2008-10-26T19:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I have downloaded my photos, so here are some delayed pics of Reese's birhtday party. We had a swim party and she got lots of baby things because she loves her babies. As soon as the party was over she was partied out. It was so cute.

It is amazing how often they change. She is talking so much more. She can really say just about anything and she is putting sentences together. It is like one day they are talking and the next day they are speaking in full sentences. Kaylee is really starting to read and it just happens over night. Well, this evening we hear Reese say, "towel". Never a good sign. So as I am getting her a towel because she spilled her drink. She says, "dang-it". Phillip gets on to her and tells her that we do not say dang it and Reese says, "Gosh". Another word we are not fond of but all we could do was laugh.

Riding Lessons

2008-10-26T19:16:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics of Kaylee at her riding lessons and Reese watching on. They get to go on a trail ride and the reflection in the tank was amazing. Then we got to let Reese hop on. Kaylee is in love with horses and wants to be a horse trainer when she grows up. She is going to have a horseback riding birthday party this year and we are doing it early because of the weather.

More Milk Please

2008-10-25T23:06:00.000-07:00

Kaylee had a really hard time potty training at night. She was almost five before we were dry through the night. We really limit how much she drinks at night even now. Reese on the other hand still wears diapers and so can have as much as she wants. I know it is not fair. Oh, and I must brag. They played beautifully together all day while Phillip and I got busy on the house. So anyways, we put them to bed tonight with Kaylee asking for more milk and telling her no. About 15 minutes later, Kaylee comes in and says that Reese is wanting more milk. I ask her if Reese had help with her milk tonight and she said that maybe a little she did. So then Reese walks in and says, "More milk please". I ask her who drank all of her milk and she says, "Sissy did it". Kaylee says, "REEEESE, we shared it". and Reese says, "Uh-h". I told Kaylee she would need to make sure she always told the truth because Mommies and Daddies know everything and God always knows the truth. She smiled and went to bed. It was really funny.

On another note. The other night we were eating dinner and since we are living in chaos we don't have a kitchen table so I sit the girls at trays. Phillip and I are eating and we look down and see Reese in froggy position, jumping and saying Ribbit. It was hilarious. Phillip was able to put on his Daddy face and tell her to go sit back down. I, on the other hand turned my head and died laughing. She was just too cute. Wow she is growing up.

Can you believe it?

2008-10-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe Christmas is 2 months away from tomorrow. I have bought 2 gifts. I am usually done by now. This year will definitely be sparse. We had not budgeted to have to buy all new appliances but that is okay. We will be able to sell our home and say that all of the appliances have been replaced and that wasn't in our initial itinerary. Oh well. We hope to complete the kitchen tomorrow and that will mean that most of my boxes will be able to be unpacked and maybe some organization will begin. I say maybe because that is not normal for me anyway. We are doing great and having so much fun and see God's blessings all around. We thank God each day we are here and see Him working in our lives. Have a blessed week.

Who's is it??

2008-10-11T19:32:00.001-07:00

First, I will say that I have my camera but can't find the cables to download photos yet. So, as we continue to unload, I hope to locate all my electronics and get down to business.

So...today I am trying to clean my house so that I feel normal or should I say "normal". Kaylee is playing with things that I am trying to clean up and if course Reese wants everything that Kaylee has. Finally after the squealing has gotten to my breaking point. Kaylee asks, "Mom, who's is this?" I tell her, "It is mine. I paid for it. It is mine". A few minutes later I ask Kaylee to please pick up her dinner plate. She responds, "Well, mom, it is actually yours. You bought it". Well, as any good mother would do, I told her, "Well if you dirty something up it becomes yours, so take your plate to the kitchen".

Could it get any...better or worse?

2008-10-10T11:39:00.000-07:00

Well, we are in our home, so that is great. We have been in our home for 5 weeks and while we are here we are redoing the kitchen and both bathrooms pretty much all at the same time. So, we have been living in chaos. We buy a brand new refrigerator and we have it a month and it quits working. We finally get water hooked up and the dryer doesn't work so we have been hanging up all our clothes throughout the house. Today, I try to run the dishwasher and it won't work. SERENITY NOW!! So, pray for us and we need to really get some things moving along. We need to paint the outside of the kitchen counters, paint the bathrooms, complete the master bath remodel, paint the exterior and fix rotted wood, oh and put up the fence that we tore down. So, anyone wanting to serve their neighbor, give a shot! :)We will get it done but of course not as fast as I want.

National Anthem

2008-10-06T17:16:00.000-07:00

Last Monday night Phillip and I went to the Sweetwater Chamber of Commerce banquet. Phillip was asked to take part in the event. This is what the write up in the Sweetwater Reporter said, "...Phillip Thomas, the pastor of First Baptist Church, led the National Anthem for the event...". I love my husband dearly and God has blessed him with the ability to preach, but God skipped over him when he was handing out the melodious gift of song. Now, Phillip does worship with song and I know the Lord loves to hear him sing and I am so glad that he does sing. So from the pulpit on Sunday, Phillip made sure he set it all straight. Phillip did lead the Pledge of Allegiance.

Finally

2008-09-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

We finally will close the deal on our house tomorrow. We have been waiting for something with the Title to clear for almost 3 weeks and in the interim have had to replace the sewer line and have redone the kitchen except for finishing out the cabinets. We have invested a lot into the house and will be so thankful to finally call it ours. We also finally have internet at home and I hope to post pics this week. Reese got 3 teeth this weekend and Kaylee remains my sweet little girl. Have a great week!

Keeping Up

2008-09-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

We still do not have internet at home and so I usually can get on once a week and let me tell you, I am going crazy. We found out that the beach house we stayed in at Crystal Beach and all other homes were all destroyed. We were really sad. Kaylee is currently in Florida with my dad and Patti at Disney World. She is having a ball but we miss her. My sister Christy is expecting her first baby in April. We are so excited. We are currently working on finishing our kitchen counters and then the bathroom and a swere line and so we have been staying steadily busy. I miss posting pictures because I have a ton and am exctied to really post. But all things considered we are doing great. We love Sweetwater and are having a wonderful time through the chaos. It is so wonderful to feel the Lord working around you. This week we are supposed to FINALLY have internet access at home and I am so exctied. I just need to be able to look stuff up every once in a while. God is GOOD...All the Time!

Craziness Continues

2008-09-03T06:41:00.000-07:00

I am sorry for no posts. We only have internet at the church until this weekend. We have also been painting and setting the girls up for school and I have been processing for a new job and the craziness continues. I will have lots of stories to tell in the next few weeks. But in the mean time we are doing great and could not be happier. This is where God has called us to be!!

Wiped

2008-08-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

Phillip and I are currently lying on the floor...wiped out. We have loaded one 20 foot trailer and are working on a 12 foot one. The girls rooms are completely cleaned out and cleaned. There is no furniture left in the house and there is only a mattress in our room. We have some little things to box and then clean the rest of the house. We will be out of the house on Friday and begin taking up our next temporary residence.

WOW!!

2008-08-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I must ask if I have lost my mind? At the same time, there is little I have had control of with what is to come. What is even crazier, is that everything that is about to happen is something to be greatly thankful for and we are truly blessed. First off, we are moving this week. To where we are not completely sure, possibly an RV for a couple of weeks until we can move into our house that is not 100% yet. So I am packing a suitcase for each member of the family and go from there. We have our first Sunday this week and are ecstatic to start our ministry there. Next, Reese turns 2 on Sunday. My baby turns 2! It is so hard to believe. She doesn't even have all of her teeth but she sure is talking more and starting to use sentences. Next, Kaylee starts Kindergarten on Monday. My baby starts Kindergarten! So keep us in your prayers. We are living in the clouds and actually I just realized today that this might all be a little stressful. I have an interview on Tues. with Hendrick Home Hospice and I love hospice so pray that it goes according to God's plan. His plan has been exceedingly beautiful so far and so many people have been working so hard for us. They are some really precious people.
God is good<> < All the time!!

Home Sweet Home...For a little While

2008-08-15T18:35:00.001-07:00

We are home and have a bath tub and our own beds. We left today around 12 and got home around 7. Ordered pizza and are getting the girls ready for bed. We are all exhausted but happy as little clams. We actually saw clams spitting in the ocean and Phillip opened one up which Kaylee thought was gross. We had a blast on the trip and really can't think of any draw backs. We swam in the ocean several times a day, lounged on our deck over looking the ocean, made sand castles, buried Daddy, flew a kite...well kinda, went crab fishing, caught a few fish, and of course went shopping. We had a blast. I didn't take many pictures because we were mostly wet. We are home and will continue packing tomorrow and through next week. We also have 'bought' a house in Sweetwater that we hope to flip. We have not signed the papers so it is not a done deal but close. I will post pics later.

What Day Is This

2008-08-06T18:59:00.000-07:00

I really do know that it is Wed. but we are in the middle of VBS and getting ready to move and go on vacation. We are packing boxes every day and seeing little to no progress. But that is the nature of the beast..when it comes to moving. We are preparing to go to the beach Sun after the morning services and are so excited to just blob out on the beach. We have rented a house on the beach and are so looking forward to it. Then we come back, go to a wedding, then have our last Sunday in Cisco and then move to Sweetwater. We have had a few hits on houses to rent and 3 areas of land. We are ready to see how things are going to be going. We cannot wait! Kaylee and Reese are both registered for their perspective schools and I have applied at TSTC and the hospital. I most likely will not post until after our vacation. Have a blessed week.

The Vote is In

2008-08-03T14:59:00.001-07:00

Well, we have had a wonderful weekend with our church in Sweetwater. It has been pleasant and comfortable and right. We have enjoyed getting to know the deacons and the staff and of course the search committee even better. The vote this morning was 176 votes yes and 7 no. We accepted the call and are raring to go. We will register Kaylee for school tomorrow. She needs to get one more shot. I will put in a couple of applications and we will look for housing. There really isn't anything to rent but hopefully one of the houses for sale would be willing to let us rent for a few months as we are going to try and build our new home. We are thrilled and know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has called us to Sweetwater to continue our minisrty for Him! Have a great week! GOD IS GOOD...ALL THE TIME!!

Our next Adventure

2008-07-31T20:59:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning we will be heading out for Sweetwater. We will have a busy weekend meeting church members and having a good time. We are nervously excited. We have such a strong feeling for this church and can't wait to start our next adventure. Keep us, FBC Sweetwater and Calvary here in your prayers. We will be looking at land, the schools and for me a job while we are there. We anticipate things going well. Have a great weekend!

Tears

2008-07-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

I had such difficulty thinking of a title. I cried all throught the service. We are so excited about the opportunity in Sweetwater but it is going to be hard to say good-bye to this church where we have felt so blessed. There are so many people that we will miss. After Phillip's message today, he told the church about us going. It went well and most of the church came up to us and told us it was just a matter of time. Phillip is such an amazing preacher. And I am not the only one that says that. We are thankful that this part is over and only 5 more days until we get to go to Sweetwater. Kaylee is in Del Rio until Wed. with her Nana. It will be yet another wild and crazy week. I have always been one that said, but after that, things will settle down. I think, however, that I have finally learned that that day will never come.

Have a blessed week.

To Tell the Truth

2008-07-26T06:18:00.000-07:00

Sadly, our little Reese has told her first lie...and innocently too. I came home yesterday to find popcorn all over the floor. I asked Reese what was on the floor and she said it was popcorn. I then asked her if she had put it there and she said, "Uh,Uh. I asked her again if she had spilled the popcorn and Phillip said her name firmly and she said, "Uh, huh". So she didn't lie for long. But her face was so sweet and serene throughout the whole deal. We told her she wasn't in trouble, but she had to pick it up. Later, when I got home and asked her if she had cleaned it up, she pointed to the vacuum.

More Pretty Pictures

2008-07-22T21:45:00.001-07:00

Family Pics

2008-07-22T21:29:00.001-07:00

We had some new family pics taken. They are precious. The girls look great. They are so pretty. I am so blessed. We go in-view of a call on Aug 3 and will be spending the whole weekend there and having little get-togethers all weekend. The deacons in our church, have asked us to tell the church this Sunday that we are going in-view. Keep our crazy circus life in your prayers. We are headed to the beach Aug10-15 and will be able to relax finally and then come back and move.

Gettin Started

2008-07-19T17:21:00.000-07:00

Today I have spent most of the day cleaning out closets. Phillip is always asking me why we keep all the baby clothes. I simply explain that they are all so good and if we have another little girl, we won't have to buy any clothes. I did go through and throw out any clothes that have stains. I also made a bag for Dittos for Kiddos to sell that I didn't really like or that the girls just didn't wear. I felt pretty good about my cleaning. Phillip looked at it all and said, "Is that all you are throwing away"? I actually still have 3 bags to go through and drawers, but we are getting there. I have boxed up all of my nursery stuff because I am planning on Reese advancing to a big girl room. I told Phillip that I have really made a lot of progress and he looks around the room and says, "Hmm, looks like it". Well, I am doing my best. I am trying to pack and yet not make it conspicuous.

On another note. We have told our head of deacons that we are going in-view of a call and will tell the rest of the deacons tomorrow and the youth pastor and his wife. We will tell the music minister on Monday night. She had a precious baby girl on Friday and won't be able to make the meeting. I hate that we were unable to tell her before the baby. We tried but they were not home.

I have been so proud of Kaylee. I know how hard it is to keep this secret. You feel like you are lying all the time. Today we were painting at the church for VBS and a little girl was there. Kaylee asked (in front of a little girl), "Mom, is it okay for me to tell Kaityln (the air rushes out of me) that we are going to the beach?" Whew. That was close. Then Kaylee whispers, "I wasn't going to tell her we are moving to Sweetwater". I quickly explained that we did not talk about that at church at all. ***Only 2 more weeks and we are so ready!***